People Pleaser Personality Disorder
“The spiritual message is we lose our lives in pleasing others; We become people pleaser. if you’re the good child who pleases Mommy and Daddy but internalizes anger, you’re setting yourself up for disease:
That’s why you need to escape people pleaser trap.
I think most of us would be surprised to find that we go to great lengths to please people around us. We will all constantly deny it, stating that we are independent and can think for ourselves but at the end of the day the sad truth is that even the most intelligent and head strong members of society can fall into the trap of being people pleaser.
Have you ever thought what happens to your personality when you keep putting efforts to please others? You no longer be yourself but start living as somebody else and that is too dangerous a situation to be in. You may be able to make somebody happy by being not you, but what happens to your own pleasures. You sabotage your own happiness in order to please others. And do you know why you are doing that? Just to massage your own ego. And when you try to do that, you are never ever able to look within, the most important process to understand yourself. Your attention is always outward. This is how you degrade yourself spiritually.
Being people pleaser, not only affect your peace and happiness but it starts affecting your job, business and other worldly affairs. I know, when I was a chronic people pleaser, I always prioritize my daily schedule wrongly. And I didn’t do it deliberately but subconsciously. I used to make my schedule to please people and not to suit the interest of my business. This is how you degrade yourself in your worldy affairs. Once I came out of the people pleaser trap, immediately my business skyrocketed to a different level.
Have you ever thought how you become people pleaser? Mostly your brain is conditioned to this people pleasing decease during your childhood. First, within the family many parents subconsciously impose on their children that it is their duty to please mom and dad. Instead of creating the flower of love in the hearts of small kids, they come out with the disciplinarian attitude that kids are supposed to please them. If that is not enough, I have seen in many families where the child is encouraged to please any successful relative or an influential friend and I don’t understand why?
I’m not saying that it is bad not to go out of your way to help someone but I believe we must have a strong sense of personal identity before we mindlessly just follow the demands of somebody else. So next time someone asks you for help, ask yourself if you are doing it out of fear, or just to please him or really you want to do it because YOU are really going to be happy once you do this. You should never do anything just to make somebody happy unless you yourself gain anything out of it. And that anything can be really anything. It may be financial profit, your happiness, your spiritual fulfillment or any dam thing. Stick to your gut and don’t deviate from your values. Follow this and you will always find yourself with spiritual and worldly abundance.